He Clothes Me With Splendor

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"[...] See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor and spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, Oh you of little faith?[...] Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 
Matthew 6: 28-30 & 34

    The last few weeks I've been grappling with a lot of things. The fallout from my grandparents' sudden and untimely deaths, new tough news about my Mom's health, a looming deadline to make a decision whether or not to return to my work in Papua New Guinea now or later and the thousand things that go along with all of that. I've been making mental lists of pros and cons, praying, fasting, seeking God's face and the counsel of others and generally feeling like I'm beating my head against a sturdy brick wall most days. I know I'm not alone in this. Surely other’s struggle to figure out what God desires for them next in life. Trying to hear God's voice in a really noisy, busy world is like trying to hear a small glass bell at a tuba convention. Nearly impossible. 

     To be totally honest, (and you know that's what I want to be since I want you to know "us missionaries" are altogether human) I've been pretty stressed out. However, yesterday and this morning I've felt God is telling me that He is clothing me with all I need. Look at the verses above. What is Jesus really saying to his fretful disciples? I'll give you food and clothes? Stop freaking out, I've got this under control silly disciples? No. He's saying, I will provide everything you need because I've already been doing it. I will clothe you above and beyond and will sustain you without your request because I care about you more than you care about yourselves. 

   Jesus has been trying to impress that on my rock-hard brain the last few days. Meg, you may be freaking out, but I have you. I have this situation and it's going to be alright because I'm still in control and I'm still guiding you. Yesterday I was reading in 2 Corinthians and was struck by the truth of Paul's words in Chapter 6:3-10, "We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distress; in beatings, imprisonment and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making others rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything." Granted, I haven't suffered any beatings, riots, or imprisonment lately and I sure hope none of you have felt I'm an impostor or unknown. However, I was struck by how similar these words are to my experience right now. God's put me in relationship with you, much like Paul was in relationship with this early church in Corinth and we're working together to see lives eternally changed. It’s just that I’ve had a shift from overseas ministry to stateside ministry with my family.

    I feel God's clothed me with rejoicing in the midst of sorrow, has been helping me to enrich others' lives when I feel that I'm so lacking in my emotional and spiritual reserves, that I feel I possess none of my former certainty of plans, work, etc... and yet I have everything I need with Christ. I feel He has clothed me with splendor in the form of sorrow and suffering and I need to remember all things are in His hands. 

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