He Clothes Me With Splendor
"[...] See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not
labor and spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed
like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is
here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe
you, Oh you of little faith?[...] Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for
tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its
own."
Matthew 6: 28-30 & 34
The last few weeks I've been
grappling with a lot of things. The fallout from my grandparents' sudden and
untimely deaths, new tough news about my Mom's health, a looming deadline to
make a decision whether or not to return to my work in Papua New Guinea now or
later and the thousand things that go along with all of that. I've been making
mental lists of pros and cons, praying, fasting, seeking God's face and the
counsel of others and generally feeling like I'm beating my head against a
sturdy brick wall most days. I know I'm not alone in this. Surely other’s
struggle to figure out what God desires for them next in life. Trying to hear
God's voice in a really noisy, busy world is like trying to hear a small glass
bell at a tuba convention. Nearly impossible.
To be totally honest, (and
you know that's what I want to be since I want you to know "us
missionaries" are altogether human) I've been pretty stressed out. However,
yesterday and this morning I've felt God is telling me that He is clothing me
with all I need. Look at the verses above. What is Jesus really saying to his
fretful disciples? I'll give you food and clothes? Stop freaking out, I've got
this under control silly disciples? No. He's saying, I will provide everything
you need because I've already been doing it. I will clothe you above and beyond
and will sustain you without your request because I care about you more than
you care about yourselves.
Jesus has been trying to impress
that on my rock-hard brain the last few days. Meg, you may be freaking
out, but I have you. I have this situation and it's going to be alright because
I'm still in control and I'm still guiding you. Yesterday I was
reading in 2 Corinthians and was struck by the truth of Paul's words in Chapter
6:3-10, "We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry
will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in
every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distress; in
beatings, imprisonment and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in
purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere
love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness
in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and
good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as
unknown; dying, yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet
always rejoicing; poor, yet making others rich; having nothing, and yet
possessing everything." Granted, I haven't suffered any beatings, riots,
or imprisonment lately and I sure hope none of you have felt I'm an impostor or
unknown. However, I was struck by how similar these words are to my experience
right now. God's put me in relationship with you, much like Paul was in
relationship with this early church in Corinth and we're working together to
see lives eternally changed. It’s just that I’ve had a shift from overseas
ministry to stateside ministry with my family.
I feel
God's clothed me with rejoicing in the midst of sorrow, has been helping me to
enrich others' lives when I feel that I'm so lacking in my emotional and
spiritual reserves, that I feel I possess none of my former certainty of plans,
work, etc... and yet I have everything I need with Christ. I feel He has
clothed me with splendor in the form of sorrow and suffering and I need to
remember all things are in His hands.
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